Atomic Habits, ​by: James Clear

Discussion Questions:
*What is a habit? (p. 6) How would you define it?
*Do you think it is easy to form a habit? What is the debate with good habits vs. bad habits?
*Do you agree or disagree with this statement: "Every action you take is a vote for the type of person you wish to become. No single instance will transform your beliefs."
*What are the 3 layers of Behavior Change? (see p. 30)
*What is habit stacking? How will you make that work for you?
*Do you believe you could create a Habits Scorecard & stick to it?
A template is available at:
atomicHabits.com/scorecard
*Why is setting goals generally less successful than forming habits?
*What is your opinion on emotional intelligence after reading & absorbing this statement:
”Our feelings & emotions tell us whether to hold steady in our current state or to make we change. They help us decide the best course of action.”
*What are the 4 laws of habit change?
*What is "the Goldilocks Rule" & how can it motivate us in our goals to form habits?  
*What is the the hardest part about forming a new habit (for you)? 


Favorite Book Quotes/Passages:
"Your outcomes are a lagging measure of your habits. You get what you repeat. Bad habits can cut you down just as easily as good habits can build you up, which is why understanding the details is crucial."

"You do not rise to the level of your goals. You fall to the level of your systems."

"Habits reduce cognitive load & free up mental capacity, so you can allocate your attention to other tasks."

**His website for many of the resources he provides (including a habit tracker) can be found: 
https://jamesclear.com/3-2-1

Questions: 

• Who were "Washington's Immortals?"  
• What did these men do that made them so extraordinary? Would you consider them heroes? 
• ​Which battles during the Revolutionary War were the most important in your opinion? 
• ​What's your favorite part or favorite quote from the book?
• Who was Washington's best general and why?  
• Why was the song The World Turned Upside Down played after the Battle of Yorktown?

Quotes: 
"Scores of Marylanders led by Major Gist, held off the British long enough to help save a corps of Washington's troops & arguably the bulk of the nascent American army from destruction. The Marylanders' forlorn assaults delayed a British attack on American fortifications at Brooklyn Heights & allowed hundreds of Americans to escape to the temporary safety of their entrenchments. The soldiers who participated in that unorthodox assault would become known as the Immortals or the Maryland 400. With their blood, these men bought, in the words of one American, 'an hour, more precious to American liberty than any other in its history.'" 

"These are the times that try men's souls. The summer soldier &t he sunshine Patriot will, in this crisis, shrink from the service of his country, but he, that stands it now, deserves the love & thanks of men & women."
​ -Thomas Paine

"But your country is at stake, your wives, your houses, & all that you hold dear...If you will consent to stay one month longer, you will render that service to the cause of liberty & to your country which you probably can never do under any circumstances." -Washington 

"I thank you sir for your generous sympathy, but I die the death I always prayer for: the death of a soldier fighting for the rights of man." - De Kalb to Cornwallis  

{After Washington turned to the president of Congress & handed him his commission} 
"Those in attendance understood that Washington's resignation was a momentous event in the establishment of the young nation & in the history of the world.  Rather than remain in control of the army, possibly setting himself up as a dictator, the general chose to keep the army under civilian control. Those present felt a wellspring of emotion,. as the event marked the culmination of their cause, the realization of the liberty from Great Britain they had fought so long to attain." 

"More accustomed to relying upon himself to shape events, he took the greatest control of the process leading up to the nomination, displaying a fierce ambition, an exceptional political acumen, & a wide range of emotional strengths, forged in the crucible of personal hardship, that took his unsuspecting rivals by surprise."
Questions for Discussion:
—How was Lincoln similar to or different from Chase, Bates & Seward (who were also running on the presidential ballot?)
-- How do you think Lincoln's personality differed from other presidents? Why does he stand out?

Questions to Discuss: 
*What is "invisible work?" Are we all guilty of participating in it & not acknowledging it to some extent?   
*"Lists alone don't work...but systems do."  (Do you have a management system in place in your home? How does it work?) 
​*What is the value of an unencumbered mind? What is the "dad privilege?"
*"When I think about who does the majority of the housework & child care in my household, I feel _______" 
*How do you feel about multitasking? If someone multitasks at your house, who do you feel does it better? You or hubby? 
​*What do you do to create "Unicorn Space" for yourself & in your life so that you can keep developing into an interesting person?  
* What do you think of Rodsky's fair play cards? Would you add any others and what would they be? 
Do you agree with her pairs cards? (i.e. "The transportation {kids} card pairs with {birthday celebrations for other kids} card.") 


BOOK QUOTES: 
Quote from The Confident Woman: 
{Before sleep each night} "Wash the dinner dishes, set out cereal for the morning, pull meat out of the freezer, fill the dog's water dish, put wet clothes in the dryer, empty the wastebasket, lock the doors, look in on kids, write a quick note to the teacher, wash & moisturize her face, & then add 3 more things to her to-do list for the next day. Meanwhile, the husband turns off the TV & announces to no one in particular, 'I'm going to bed.'" 

"Ownership belongs to the person who first off remembers to plan, then plans, & then follows through on every aspect of executing the plan & completing the task without reminders." 

"Rule #1: All Time is Created Equal is required for you & your partner to benefit from the true life & relationship -changing experience of Fair Play. It asks you both to reframe how you value time & then commit to the goal of re-balancing the hours that domestic work requires between two partners."

Discussion Questions:
​*Why is Lale the one who reports to work for the Germans from his family?
*What skill makes Lale desirable for different positions in Auschwitz- Birkenau?
*How does Lale become the new tattooist "Tatowierer" (replacing Pepan) at the camp?
*Why is Lale attracted to Gita? How does he pursue her?
*Why is Gita taken from Canada to the Administration Building to work?
*What news does Gita learn from Mrs. Goldstein about her family? (p.127)
*When Lale sees Leon again in Birkenau, what has happened to Leon? What changes has he undergone?
*How does Lale feel about the job he performs at the camp when he & Baretski are heading into Creamatorium #3? What would you do in his place?
​*Why does Lale give Mendel a snake tattoo to replace the numbers on his arm? (Pg.153)
*The U.S. Air Force flies over the compound several times; what is the reaction of the prisoners? What is the outcome of the planes flying over? (ch. 18)
​*Why does Lale refuse to wear the yellow star of David? (p. 164) When he talks to Gita next what do his comments indicate about his faith & God?
*Who is Jakub & why does he beat Lale at the Black Wall? Why was Lale taken from the compound?
​*What happens shortly after Lale gets to the camp in Vienna? Why?

COST is our book for March!
Author: Roxana Robinson
The story revolves around Julia Lambert, mother of 2 & divorced who is visiting her elderly parents. 
Her mother suffers from Alzheimer's. Julia has more put on her plate when she discovers her younger song Jack has a heroin addiction. 

I will post an IGTV discussion of the first part of our book this Friday, March 13th at 4:30 P.M. (Central Time.) And a live video discussion on Friday March 27th, 12:30 p.m. 

Discussion Questions: 
*"People were so ready now to give up, throw everything away, but divorce was the solution to nothing." What is the author trying to communicate about the issue of divorce? 
*Have you or anyone you know had to move in & provide hospice care for family members? What impact did it have on their lives? 
*How are Julia & her father (Edward) alike? Do you think this puts a strain on their relationship?
*What do you know about heroin addicts and the life they lead? How does Jack put considerable stress on his family members by his choices? 
*Is Julia (the mother) in denial about Jack's addiction? Do loved ones sometimes go into denial in a state of over protection? 
*Steven & Jack have a complicated brother-brother relationship/ sibling rivalry.  Steven really lashes out at Wendell &  Julia (his parents) at the hospital; why do you think that is? How does Steven feel about Jack overall? (pg. 218-219) 
*Have you ever been pushed by someone as Harriet (Julia's sister) felt pushed by her father's elitism? (i.e. choosing to be a veterinarian instead of a doctor.) Why does her father consider her job a "lesser" one?
*How do Julia and Wendell reconnect with Jack after he breaks out of the hospital? If you were his mother or father, would you have bailed him out of jail? (to go to rehab) Why or why not? 
*Which character in the book do you identify most closely with? (Katherine, Edward, Julia, Wendell, Steven, Jack?)

​Edenbrooke, a proper romance by Julianne Donaldson is our Valentines romance read for this month!
I will be doing something a little different for book club this month; I will have 2 LIVE videos on Instagram, discussing the book & checking in with you. (One on February 13💕 & the other Feb. 28! I hope you'll read along & if you're not already following me on Instagram my handle is: katie.s.lit )

Marianne is the protagonist in this story & she is eager to leave boring Bath behind & go experience the countryside with her twin sister, Cecily, to stay with a dear friend of their mother's (Lady Caroline) who is at Edenbrooke.

​
D​iscussion Questions:
*What tragedy has befallen Marianne's family? 

*What does Marianne’s grandmother give her before she leaves Bath? (It’s the same thing she loses to the highwayman.) What significance did it have for Marianne? 
​**************************************************************************************************************
"I pressed the locket close to my heart & felt a greater surge of hope. Surely my mother's portrait had magical powers over my heart."
****************************************************************************************************************
*When she first meets Phillip, why is he so insistent on keeping his identity secret? How does this impact Marianne’s ability to trust him? When & how does she learn he's the oldest at Edenbrooke?

*What is the predicament Marianne finds herself in when Cecily finally shows up at Edenbrooke after Marianne had been there for a week?

*How does Marianne gain "ownership" of Meg while she's at Edenbrooke? 
​
*Why does Cecily seem surprised at the news that Marianne is riding horses again when she arrives at Edenbrooke?

*What cheesy things does Phillip do & say to make Marianne blush? Is it cute? 

*What kind of a suitor is Mr. Beaufort? How would you describe him? 

*When Phillip & William go out to the horse races, what scandalous things does Marianne think they are doing? 

*How are Marianne & Meg (the horse) alike?

​

The ultimate self-help book to kick off 2020! Gretchen Rubin happens to be one of my favorite authors & podcast hostesses, but you might also be familiar with her works, the Happine​ss Project & Better than Before.
This new book, the Four Tendencies, will work most effectively for you as you identify which personality type or mesh of personalities you identify with best.
The question you need to ask yourself while you’re reading is: how I respond to expectations? Both self-imposed (inner expectations) & expectations put in place by others (outer expectations.)
​Listed below for your convenience; happy reading!!!

1) Upholder
2) Obliger
3) Rebel
4) Questioner 

Also, I would highly recommend taking the 4 Tendencies quiz so you know what you are. ;) This wasn't a huge eye-opener for me personally, since I know I'm an obliging person in general, (an Obliger) but when I discovered that my husband fits the mold of Questioner more than Upholder, I was a little surprised. However, reading about being married to a Questioner & how to respond to them has actually been quite insightful; I am hopeful that I can make him feel valued & not belittled by senseless questions while we are communicating in the future. 
Rubin's descriptions of each personality type are spot-on AND she gives practical advice with how to deal with people of that tendency or how to handle ourselves differently. 

Do you like books that are written in letter format? Or in other words, books that tell the story between people based on their letters/correspondence. They fascinate me, actually.

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS & THOUGHTS:
Here's a thought-provoking quote from one of Evelyn's (Evie's) first letters to Thomas Harding:
"You know I have a dreadful tendency for over enthusiasm & I'm afraid this war might bring out my very worst best intentions."
What does Evie mean by saying this? How are our very worst best intentions sometimes made manifest?

Discussion Questions:
Why are letters such an interesting way to tell a story? Is it possible people were more direct & descriptive in their letters because it was their only form of communication when distance & war were involved?

How does Evie (alias of Genevieve Wren) contribute to the LDT? Are her columns on “A Woman’s War” unique or traditional for her time?

At what point does Evie seem to realize she’s in love with Thomas Harding? Why does she believe she’s just a dear friend to him?

What do you think of Evie's relationship with Hopper? 

What are some of the main reasons Evie decides to enroll in the WAAC? Is her decision to run away from things brave and wise or cowardly? 

Who is Delphine? What gift does Thomas give her when they meet up in Paris in December of 1968? How does she remind him of Evie? 
​___________________________________________________________________________________________________

Also, I mentioned a few of my other letters format favorites on my IG video; here they are!
Dennis & Greer : Molly Gould
Ella Minnow Pea: Mark Dunn
The Potato Peel Pie Society: Mary Ann Barrows & Annie Shaffer